Since it's Thanksgiving week and everyone is talking about thankfulness, I'll do it too :)  Below are pictures of a family who have greatly impacted my life this past year.  I write about them all the time, but seriously, they have taken me into their home and am I now known as Auntie Sarah!!

Ben and his Auntie Sarah

Me and Silas

My buddy Gabe

Amazing wonderful Amanda

Ben and Daddy Brandon

Christian

I don't know what I would do if this family wasn't in my life.  Amanda cooks for me all the time :)  Brandon gives great advice and is like a big brother to me.  The boys and I watch movies, ride bikes, and play WII.  

To be honest, when I started releasing things last week, I was expecting God to replace those things with different things that I desired.  If I get rid of the negative, then He'll fill it with the positive things I want, right?  Not quit.
I've always wanted to be married...but what lil girl doesn't want that.  However, as I'm grown up, I've gone back and forth between wanting a family.  There for a while, I swore I'd never have kids.  It would be me and my man spoiling all our nieces and nephews :)
But...in the past 9 months or so, I've fallen in love w the idea of a family, thanks in part to my dear friends the Plasters.  The have 4 boys under the age of 11 and wow!  what a family.  Amanda is a stay at home mom working her Mary Kay business!  Brandon works full time and sings in a quartet.  Those boys are such a hand full, but I love being over there.  I told Amanda the other day, that if I wasn't doing Mary Kay, then I would want to be her nanny.  She sometimes calls me her wife, cuz I'm over there all the time helping out  :)  I see how she and Brandon work TOGETHER to make their home wonderful.  Brandon is Amanda's biggest fan as she's working into Mary Kay management and Amanda adores Brandon!!
To get back on track....a family.  My heart is slowing coming around again to wanting a family.  And because I want a family, I want to marry someone who wants family too.  As I was releasing toxic relationships, I expected God to fill that space with positive relationships.  I have let loneliness set in and that is far more toxic then the things I let go of.  Loneliness loves when we sink down real deep and start to feel sorry for ourselves.  He loves to remind of us what we don't have, not what we do.  His partner is Discontentment!
"What I have isn't enough"

"When will it be my turn"

"When will my happiness come"

"What's wrong with me?"

Comfort, Peace, and Contentment come along.  They are on my side, sent by my Father!!
"Look how blessed I am with family and friends who love me"

"God's timing is perfect and I'm just not ready for what He has in store"

"A person and things can't make me happy.  My joy comes from the Lord"  I choose to be happy!!

"There is nothing wrong with me.  God is continuing to work on me, to perfect His work"

My friend Amanda has been telling me about standing tall for the Lord and the work He's doing in her life.  And not to kneel before fear or guilt, etc.  What an inspiration she is to me!!

Release

I remember posting several weeks ago about freedom.  I thought I was doing pretty well with the whole freedom thing, but guess what...not going as well as I had hoped.  Yes, I might have given up control of one or two things, but thats not what God wants.  He wants TOTAL 100% control.  I have been so weighted down by wanting to control things in my life that are not mine to control.  To be honest, giving up control scares the heck outa me, even though thats what God wants from me.
Why is this such a hard thing to grasp.  Just give it up.  I have no reason to doubt God's got it handled, but I seem to think I can do better.  As my friend told me, "you are so selfish to think you can handle things better then God"  Wow!  What a slap in the face!!
As I'm slowly giving up control, I am faced with the reality that I need God in my life even more.  My prayer life and Bible reading has been suffering for years, because I thought I could do it so much better then God.  I've also been faced with dealing with my future spouse.  I don't know who he is yet, but God does and that's pretty cool to me.  But how can I say that I want a Godly man in my life, when my life with God is suffering so much.  If I want a Godly mate, doesn't my mate want a Godly wife?  This was earth shattering for me!!  It shouldn't be, but it is.
I feel like my thoughts are all over the place today, but I'm realizing so much and to me its all tied together.  There were a couple songs today that spoke to me.  Music has a way of doing that.  And so, I want to share what spoke to me.  The first lyrics are where I'm at right now and the second set is where I wana be.  Its a long tough journey, but God promised to be with me, to guide me and to get me to the end safely.

As scared as I am, I'm ready for a new adventure and to see what my God has in store for me.

Rush Of Fools - Undo Lyrics I've been here before, now here I am again Standing at the door, praying You'll let me back in To label me a prodigal would be Only scratching the surface of who I've been known to be Turn me around pick me up Undo what I've become Bring me back to the place Of forgiveness and grace I need You, need Your help I can't do this myself You�re the only one who can undo What I've become  LIVE FOR YOU-RACHEL LAMPA You have spoken in the sunset. You have whispered words of comfort in the wind. You know ev’rything about me; Before my life began, You held me in Your hand. You have walked these roads before me. You have known the pain a broken heart can bear [beat]... Won’t You help me now to trust You? Ev’ry single day, I follow in Your way. I live for You, I live for You, When I think of all Your love has done for me. I live for You, Never looking back to what life used to be. I live for You. And ev’rything I ever thought was mine, I’d give it all away to have You in my life. (Just like that.)

Playing hookie :)

Bahahaha...I love playing hookie :)  I didn't do it much in college, cuz all my classes seemed to require alot of attention to detail.  Anyhow...I played hookie from work this weekend.  I wanted to go ride horses and see my boys.  It was a wonderful day at the farm and I don't regret not working at all.

I'll post more later about the boys in my life and how much I care about them.  I'm looking forward to my future and seeing how God will bless and take care of me!

Meet Giraffe!  This is the 3rd time I've ridden him and he's doing so good!

Got his name because he's colored like a giraffe and has crazy long legs!

My Cup Runs Over!!

WOW!  This past weekend has been truly crazy!!

I am finally settling into a routine at work.  Things are still good here :)  I am so thankful I am an organized person, because I would be pulling out my hair otherwise.  Payroll is proving to be the most challenging aspect of work so far, but I think we are slowing getting the wrinkles worked out.

This week God has blessed me with the opportunity to own 2 horses.  A friend totally surprised me the other day by saying she and her husband wanted me to have their 8-year-old quarter horse gelding.  What more could a girl ask for?  lol  We decided to hold off signing him over to me until I knew for sure that I could take care of him and have a good home for him.  Unfortunately the good home part fell through yesterday, so Jac will be staying with his current owners.

I was a lil disappointed cuz I met Jac this week and fell in love with him.  However, in the same sentence I was told Jac couldn't move to my friends farm, my friend told me he's been meaning to give me the paint gelding I've been breaking this summer :)  I was speechless!!  So I am now the proud owner of a 3-year-old gaited paint gelding named Giraffe.  You will understand the name once you see pics.  He has really long legs and stretches out his neck all the time and his brown and white spotted, kinda like a giraffe!! :)  I have been working with him since May probably and he has come such a long way since then.  When my friend first bought Giraffe it was impossible to catch him, but now I'm riding him in the small pen and he's doing so well.  I'll keep posting updates and pics as they come along.

I never realized so much could happen in one day, but God is good!  He has also brought an amazing guy into my life and things might be progressing, I'm not sure yet.  We shall see :)

Changes

Changes are in the wind around here.

Started my new job yesterday at Trophy Run here in Branson.  My business cards will say that I'm the Marketing Coordinator, but I think I'm the right hand man to my boss.  He's been running the show by himself since September.  We are working on getting some odds and ends tied up...payroll, insurance, a new copier, coffee pots and water filters.  Found out yesterday that I'll also be in charge of payrolll :0  not sure how I feel about that...to late now  lol

I very distinctly remember thinking to myself when I pulled in the parking lot..."what the heck have I gotten myself into?"  But I'm loving it!  I'm the only girl right now, so no stupid drama.  The guys I work for are super cool and chill.  I think things will start to pick up in the next week or so once Ken passes some of the responsibilities on to me.

Still blessed and looking at what I have, instead of focusing on what I want.

Almost the Weekend

Working at a resort has its perks and its downfalls.  One downfall...not having Saturday AND Sunday off together.  Perks...having two days off in a row, allowing me to run errands to businesses that are only open M-F.  This week my weekend is Friday and Saturday and I'm going to the farm :)

I haven't posted about the farm yet, even though its one of the most important things in my life right now.  It's my retreat, my home away from home, my heaven on earth.  I work my butt off on the farm, but its worth it.  I have the privledge of helping my friend break a couple horses and finish them to be sold.  It has been a great experience for me.  I'm learning alot about horses and alot about patience.  God has brought some wonderful people into my life and I'm definently growing!  Anna is showing me how to be a Godly woman and lets me talk to her about all the things on my heart.  Paul is amazing and reminds me of my Grandpa...a hard working man who loves his family.  Richard is teaching me patience, because he has none...lol  but seriously, Richard is showing me a different view on love and relationships because he is divorced.  He looks at the world in a very different way then I do.  The farm gives me a chance to serve others.  Anna recently had surgery on her knee and isn't supposed to be lifting heavy things or moving to quickly.  I'm going up tomorrow to help her back for their trail ride tomorrow.  If I'm lucky I might get to ride horses, but that's not the priority.

Not sure how to wrap this post up, so I'll just leave it with...I'm blessed beyond all measure and continue to see God working!

He is So Very Good to Me

There have been alot of changes lately....mostly personal, but some public.  As posted earlier, I'm learning to trust God with my future.  He more then proved Himself AGAIN today.  I had applied for a new job last week, went through the interview and personality testing in less then seven days.  Yesterday morning the guy doing the hiring said I was in the top 3 :) and that he would be making a decision very soon.  The only big hold up that I could see was I didn't know if I could give my current job only a weeks notice instead of the normal two.  I prayed about this yesterday while riding horses, and today at church and on the way home.  I told the new guy that I would check with the current boss and get back to him.

I came to work today and my boss asks me (out of the blue) if I was looking for a new job and I had to be honest with her, so I said yes.  She asks a few questions about it and specifically asked if I could give her two weeks.  WOW!  God plans everything out for me!  I told her it would be better if I just gave 1 week and she was ok with that.  So I emailed the guy saying my boss was ok with just a weeks notice.  He emailed me back and said "You're hired!"  I was laughing and crying at the same time when I called my mom...she thought something was wrong!  lol

At church today Pastor taught on praise and how important that is in the life of a Christ-follower.  I'll admit, I haven't been a great Christ-follower as of late, but God is working on me and slowly bringing me back to Him.  I am amazed by His patience and unwaveringly love.  Through church and on the way home I prayed with belief that God would continue to provide and WOW...I'm blown away!!

Freedom

I have recently been attending a new church with my dear friend Amanda and her family.  This past Sunday we sang about freedom and Pastor said we cannot truely appreciate freedom
until we've been in bondage,
until we've been tied up,
until we've been behind bars.

I realized that I've been in bondage to and behind the bars of my future.  This was a big thing for me to realize.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am a self-sufficient, independent girl who can make it on her own.  I want to control things, including my future.  And while thats true, I sure can't see the future nor am I sure I want to see it.  If I saw into my future, what would I change about today?  Would I change today or would I let today be today, hoping to learn something that will impact my future?

The future has started to bother me a lil bit lately. Especially when it comes to my husband.  I believe he is out there, I know my parents and others who love me pray for him.  I pray for him.  But I dont know who he is and that worries me a bit.  I like to have a plan and know how things are gona work out.

My friend Amanda just told me that worrying about my future is living in fear.  But that God's got it all under control.  Again, a friend who loves me and will tell me the truth, even when i don't want to hear it :)  thanks girl!  You truely are a blessing!!

"Made by God" in Hebrew. Summer 2008

The Start of Something New

Well, here it goes.  I've thought about a blog for some time now, but didn't think I had anything interesting to write about.  However, my thoughts have grown stronger over the past week or so and I've decided to give it a try.

Why its called "Made by God"  2 differnent people asked me about the tattoo on my foot yesterday (I'll post a picture soon). Once outside the bank and by one of our maintenance guys here at the resort.  I was able to share that I got the tattoo because everything else in the world has a lable on it and based on my faith, I believe that I was made by God :)

I'm not promising anything great in this blog, just a place for me to write about what God's doing and what's going on in my life.  My inspirations are my friends Jess, Becca and my cousin Jen.